Saw-Buck

Where has it gone?

There are so many things I wanted to do, but at the moment I've relegated myself to suffering through a rather large backlog of domestic projects that have haunted me for far too long. Not to mention the fact that I've been inundated at work since the start of the year. Huge projects are never easy to accomplish -- even with twice the help AND devoting 70+ hours a week to the job. The sad thing is: I feel like I have nothing to show for all my work... Ugh...

But on the upside, I at least have a little free time now. I don't have much energy or focus and my creativity is shot, but it's a start. I've been wanting badly to get back to my art and I swear I'm going to try to fit it into this little bit of time I have. Maybe it won't be a year between submissions from now on...

I can only hope.

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope this finds you all well!

I, for one, am glad that 2013 is gone! I've had such a shitty year that I want to forget it altogether... But I've been pulling myself out of the mire, so it's still got it's claws on me for now.

I hate to complain -- especially to strangers -- but I've convinced myself I need to be more honest and open, more forthcoming; damn the consequences. That means throwing caution to the wind and stepping out of the shadows that I like to hide in. (That's one of my problems.) It's uncomfortable for me to write this, and probably moreso for anyone to read, but it's something I need to do. I might actually get some unexpected help from it (but I doubt it).

You see, I need to make a change. It's been culminating for months and the new year has given me a chance to take action. So, what's bothering me? (I expect people to laugh at this )  I believe I've been suffering through some form of existential crisis.

Yeah, I know... You can leave now, if you want.

Usually, it's a case with how a person deals with their own mortality. The funny part is: I've already dealt with that. I've made arrangements for cryonic suspension upon my death. [Cryonics? Read this. Done.] I think my problem lies with what I want to do with the rest of my life, what I want for myself, and how others see me.

Sad thing is, an existential crisis is a one-man-war, so to speak. Others might help me with a few minor points, but for the most part I'll be fighting this battle alone. And I haven't been able to confide in anyone until now because of an issue with trust (and secrets). It's been gnawing at me for some time now... orz

I'm not a whiny person, and I never ask for any kind of help unless I'm at my wits end, so by openly admitting this it shows how big a deal it is for me. It shows how big of a problem it is right now. But I'm optimistic about overcoming this and growing into a more whole individual because of it. I just hope it doesn't drag on like it has been -- it's affected my life in too many negative ways this past year. That's why I'm glad it's gone. Let's bury 2013. Bury it deep.

Let me make something clear: I'm not asking for anyone's help, I just need to get it out in the open so it stops festering inside me.

On a side note (not really), I've had this yearning to get back into art as part of my healing process. I've badly wanted to most of this last year, but I haven't been able to bring myself to do anything. I might be, or might have been, suffering from a mild (or almost) depression.

There are many things I'm interested in, but I need to just pick one to focus on. I need focus right now, more than anything, because my mind shoots all over the place at the moment. But I don't know what I'll do yet. Painting? Photography? Fractals? Who knows, but I'm going to pick something very soon. I need something that I can lose myself in.

Then I'll have to make something happen. For my own sake; for my sanity.

And for anyone that actually read all this: thank you. I know you didn't have to take the time, but it's nice to know that someone did.

No, seriously, where in the hell have I been???

Sadly, I have had so much to do this year that I haven't had much time for dA. I miss this place! But maybe it won't be much longer until I get some of my major projects finished and I can play.

I still have so much to do.  orz

Later...

Completely Random Update! GO!!

Where Did I Park My Time Machine?!
Why don't I have enough time for art lately? I wish I knew. I have all these different things planned, but I can't get anything done!
It's times like these I wish I were an insomniac... Or unemployed.

Wait... Maybe, I shouldn't wish for that.


Upcoming Projects
1. Canvas Paper Applejack -- Begun; If I'm free this weekend I'll try to spend some time on her.fav.me/d5nkcf2
2. Canvas Paper Tutorial -- I thought I'd put together a half-assed tutorial on how I do canvas paper art.
3. Cutie Mark Stamps -- I've been looking at stamps lately, but haven't found a subtle one for Rainbow Dash that I like.
4. Random Stamps -- A few for me, but maybe others can use them too.
5. Rukia's Prison Chair -- A woodworking project that I've wanted to do for awhile. Woodwork is art, too!!
6. Fractal Art -- More fractal art. Maybe some things that aren't so simple.
7. Adoptables -- I don't know why, but I think I want to try some of these.
8. Canvas Paper Derpy Hooves Ver. 2 -- I need to update Derpy...fav.me/d5nyogo
9. Canvas Paper Fluttershy Ver. 2 -- And Fluttershy...
10. Canvas Paper Rainbow Dash Ver. 2 -- And Rainbow...


My Computer Sux!
So I finally bought a new one. Am in the process of getting it set up with all my art goodies. It's going to work out so much better than the old one. It can actually run Painter 12 without any lags... Although I did manage to crash it, somehow. I hope that's not a bad omen.


I'll be adding to this list as time goes by. So much to do, so little time...


Thanks for all the favs! watches! comments!
Thanks everyone! It makes my day to know that I did something that someone... somewhere... maybe... kinda... didn't hate... all that much...

(Yes, I'm self-deprecating. It's how I force myself to do better.)

But seriously, I really appreciate it! All feedback is good feedback, as far as I'm concerned.

Thanks for reading! Until next time...
-SawBuck

I opened a store at zazzle.com. www.zazzle.com/bobbynashdesign As an experiment, more than anything. Check it out! www.zazzle.com/bobbynashdesign
I've been curious as to how I might make a little money with my art, and some easy ways to go about it online. I know of a few other sites like dA and zazzle, and I'll try them out eventually, but zazzle seemed like a good place to jump in since I've started messing around with fractal art. I think it lends itself well to several of their products.
Anyway, I'm always curious to hear how other people sell their work. And it'd be nice if I got some comments about it... But I know what to expect.
I think.

www.zazzle.com/bobbynashdesign
www.zazzle.com/bobbynashdesign
www.zazzle.com/bobbynashdesign