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About Varied / Hobbyist Member Bobby NashMale/United States Recent Activity
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Bobby Nash
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States

Currently Under Reconstruction

Upcoming Projects:
~Canvas Paper Fluttershy 2.0 (in progress)
~WIP collage (forthcoming)
Happy New Year, everyone! I hope this finds you all well!

I, for one, am glad that 2013 is gone! I've had such a shitty year that I want to forget it altogether... But I've been pulling myself out of the mire, so it's still got it's claws on me for now.

I hate to complain -- especially to strangers -- but I've convinced myself I need to be more honest and open, more forthcoming; damn the consequences. That means throwing caution to the wind and stepping out of the shadows that I like to hide in. (That's one of my problems.) It's uncomfortable for me to write this, and probably moreso for anyone to read, but it's something I need to do. I might actually get some unexpected help from it (but I doubt it).

You see, I need to make a change. It's been culminating for months and the new year has given me a chance to take action. So, what's bothering me? (I expect people to laugh at this ;))  I believe I've been suffering through some form of existential crisis.

Yeah, I know... You can leave now, if you want.

Usually, it's a case with how a person deals with their own mortality. The funny part is: I've already dealt with that. I've made arrangements for cryonic suspension upon my death. [Cryonics? Read this. Done.] I think my problem lies with what I want to do with the rest of my life, what I want for myself, and how others see me.

Sad thing is, an existential crisis is a one-man-war, so to speak. Others might help me with a few minor points, but for the most part I'll be fighting this battle alone. And I haven't been able to confide in anyone until now because of an issue with trust (and secrets). It's been gnawing at me for some time now... orz

I'm not a whiny person, and I never ask for any kind of help unless I'm at my wits end, so by openly admitting this it shows how big a deal it is for me. It shows how big of a problem it is right now. But I'm optimistic about overcoming this and growing into a more whole individual because of it. I just hope it doesn't drag on like it has been -- it's affected my life in too many negative ways this past year. That's why I'm glad it's gone. Let's bury 2013. Bury it deep.

Let me make something clear: I'm not asking for anyone's help, I just need to get it out in the open so it stops festering inside me.

On a side note (not really), I've had this yearning to get back into art as part of my healing process. I've badly wanted to most of this last year, but I haven't been able to bring myself to do anything. I might be, or might have been, suffering from a mild (or almost) depression.

There are many things I'm interested in, but I need to just pick one to focus on. I need focus right now, more than anything, because my mind shoots all over the place at the moment. But I don't know what I'll do yet. Painting? Photography? Fractals? Who knows, but I'm going to pick something very soon. I need something that I can lose myself in.

Then I'll have to make something happen. For my own sake; for my sanity.

And for anyone that actually read all this: thank you. I know you didn't have to take the time, but it's nice to know that someone did. :)
  • Mood: Sadness

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xofox Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I just wanted to say thanks for the watch; it really is very appreciated. :D
Saw-Buck Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome! :)
You've made very nice progress since you began carving. Keep it up! You make this woodworker want to try it, too.
TeaLattes Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Student General Artist
Thanks for the watch~
Saw-Buck Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome :)
Tofu93 Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the watch. (:
Saw-Buck Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome! Keep up the good work!
Onsaud Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012
Thanks for the watch, too! I'll use it to polish the kitchen faucet.
Onsaud Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2012
Thanks for the llama, but what is it?
Saw-Buck Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist

It's just a fun(ny) badge people give out. I got such a laugh from your art that I just HAD to give you one! You have such an awesome sense of humor! Keep it up!
Onsaud Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2012
Well, thanks then! Glad to know I can appeal to people with my strange scribbles.
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